Winter Stock Take: 4,000 Dots, Counted Twice, Found Zero

Every winter, Red Dot Supply Company completes a full stock take. This year the warehouse, which is a garage with a heater, held four thousand dots. Or so we believed. The count was carried out by Ledger, our accounts cat, and checked by Pinpoint, who is not good at counting but is excellent at being present.

The method

A dot cannot be counted the way a normal item can be counted. It does not stay still. It does not take up space. It cannot be placed in a box. Ledger therefore developed a method known as the Visual Tally, in which he looks at each dot, says its number, and waits for it to leave.

First count

The first count, taken on Monday, found four thousand and three dots. This was above forecast, and Ledger described it as “a pleasing surplus”. Dot Vanderpaw said it was impossible and asked him to count again.

Second count

The second count, taken on Tuesday, found zero dots. Ledger told the board that the dots had, in his words, “gone off”. Asked where, he said “wherever it is that dots go.” The board thanked him for his professionalism.

Where did they go?

We have examined several theories:

• The dots left through the garage door, which Pinpoint had left open to see what would happen.
• The dots were never there, and the first count was an optimistic reading of the light.
• The dots are in the ceiling, where they were last seen, and are waiting for the building to go quiet.

Our conclusion

The board accepts the second count. A stock of zero dots is, accounting wise, a clean slate. It saves on storage, removes the risk of theft, and makes the quarterly figures easier to read.

The outlook

We expect to restock by spring, as the sun returns and the dots reappear on their own. In the meantime, our online shop will continue to sell dots, on the basis that nobody has asked for one in person.

Thank you for your continued patience, and your continued belief in the dot. We would not be here without either.